We only have four more entries in this MNC Wednesday miniseries, including this one. What a strange trip it’s been! Claiming the mythical national championship is a goofy pastime for many silly fans out there; we recently heard an Auburn fan state that the school had won nine national titles in football; we literally only have them winning three—two of them in the pre-1936 era of the sport where almost any school often tries to grab something fake. Oh well, some people just have feelings.

The 1904 MNC: Pennsylvania (Helms, NCF-tie) & Michigan (NFC-tie); Pennsylvania (DMP)

We have another split decision here among the “experts” for the mythical title, with both the Pennsylvania Quakers (12-0, No. 1 SRS, No. 7 SOS) and the Michigan Wolverines (10-0, No. 3 SRS, No. 53 SOS) grabbing a piece of the proverbial pie. We can see right away that the latter will not be holding on to the flimsy designation here by the National Championship Foundation. The last split decision came in 1908, with Penn also being a part of that, and we didn’t give it to the Quakers then.

What will we do this time? Well, let’s compare our contenders, screened for quality to avoid imposters like the Wolverines from wasting our time. This is our short list:

  • Pennsylvania (12-0): No. 1 SRS, No. 7 SOS (out of 80)

Well, that’s literally it, for one reason or another. Minnesota (13-0, No. 4 SRS, No. 54 SOS) falls to the same flaw as Michigan, while Chicago (10-1-1, No. 2 SRS, No. 10 SOS) lost to the Wolverines and had a tie. Those blemishes cannot overcome the Quakers’ sabermetric edges. Yale (10-1, No. 5 SRS, No. 14 SOS) also has that issue, while Vanderbilt (9-0, No. 6 SRS, No. 70 SOS) played a joke of a schedule. No other teams really can even enter the realm that Penn occupies in this year’s analysis.

So, it’s that simple, folks: for the first time ever, the Quakers claim an MNC, and for the first time since our 1917 analysis, we confirm a “winner” of prior acknowledgement. We realize this may set a record for our briefest piece ever, but it is what it is. For what it’s worth, too, Penn would have had a 0.82-point edge on a neutral field over the Maroons and a 0.93-point advantage over the Wolverines. The Quakers only left home once, but they also only played one small school. Checkmate!