Here we go again: we covered the playoffs and World Series this season for CBS, and the open secrets whispered in the press box were disheartening albeit not surprising. MLB Monday faces yet another postseason assessment here that requires us to make significant revisions to the votes at the time—ironically, submitted by the media that knew better but couldn’t do much about it at the same. So sad.

2014 World Series MVP: Madison Bumgarner, SP, San Francisco (original); Omar Infante, 2B, Kansas City (revised)

The San Francisco Giants won a third World Series in five years, thanks to excessive use of PED use on their roster gone unchecked by MLB Commissioner Bud Selig in the name of profiteering, using the clear recipe for such garbage. Therefore, voted “MVP” Madison Bumgarner, pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, won’t be winning this award, as his team won the Fall Classic in 7 games over a upstart, small-market opponent.

The first trick is finding someone on the Giants’ roster who wasn’t clearly using; that can be hard as we have seen recently. There are no hitters who qualify on the S.F. roster; there are also no pitchers. Every player that performed decently enough to warrant consideration here has been suspected of PED use in our historical analyses and estimation. So, we have to go to a player from the Kansas City Royals roster instead.

Our best choices: K.C. second baseman Omar Infante (5 RBI, .924 OPS) and relief pitcher Wade Davis (0.00 ERA, 10 Ks in 5 IP). Davis was basically a middle reliever/set-up man here, though, as he didn’t register a win or a save in the matchup, even though he was obviously extremely impressive. Infante played very well, too, so who did best in the Game 7 loss at home? Hmmm. Infante had an RBI; Davis tossed 2 IP.

Those were scoreless innings, too, with 3 Ks. This is a tie in our minds, although we don’t want to make it a tie “vote” from us. So we resort to, again, the WPA sabermetric measurement of Win Probability Added, and Infante takes it, albeit barely. That’s good enough for us in this case, which is shitty and unworthy of our energies. What does it say that the five best options for picking a winner from San Francisco were impossible?

2014 ALCS MVP: Lorenzo Cain, CF, Kansas City (original); Alex Gordon, 3B, Kansas City (revised)

Like the 2007 Colorado Rockies were robbed of a World Series chance by the cheatin’ Boston Red Sox, the Royals waltzed through their league playoffs without a loss—sweeping the Baltimore Orioles in the ALCS by a combined score of 18-12. This included two 2-run games, two 1-run contests, and one extra-inning game. Center fielder Lorenzo Cain (.533 BA, 1 RBI, 1 SB, 1.255 OPS) was voted the MVP at the time. Hmmm.

He obviously hit very well, but the impact wasn’t as high as one might think: third baseman Alex Gordon (5 RBI, 1.021 OPS) had a WPA mark almost twice as high, which is odd. With no pitcher even getting to 6 IP total in this matchup, we will re-assign this trophy to Gordon—with no disrespect to Cain, who we like.

2014 NLCS MVP: Bumgarner (original); Travis Ishikawa, 1B, San Francisco (revised)

Here we go again: who else can we consider for this award, instead of a huge cheater? Well, first baseman Travis Ishikawa seems like he could be an option. No other “clean” hitter did anything noteworthy in the five-game series victory over the St. Louis Cardinals—who got eliminated three years in a row by cheating teams after winning the 2011 Fall Classic. Terrible injustice, for sure: again, blame Selig. Piss on his grave!

On the pitching side, no one clean stands out. So Ishikawa (7 RBI, 1.198 OPS) it is: his case is interesting as he played for the Giants from 2008-2010 and then was out of the majors entirely in 2011. He started 2014 with the Pittsburgh Pirates, but they waived him before April was over. He re-signed with the Giants, and his numbers in 2014 were almost identical to his numbers from 2008-2010. That’s clean enough for us, clearly.

2014 AL MOTY: Buck Showalter, Baltimore (original); Brad Ausmus, Detroit Tigers (revised)

This was an interesting season in the junior circuit: the best skipper effort was posted by New York Yankees Manager Joe Girardi (plus-7 PPP), but his team won just 84 games and missed the postseason. Baltimore Manager Buck Showalter (plus-2) won the MOTY vote, but clearly he wasn’t pressed in his own division, winning the AL East by 12 games over those undermanned Yankees. But we have someone else in mind.

The Detroit Tigers won the AL Central by 1 game over the Royals, thanks to Manager Brad Ausmus (plus-4) holding on to edge Royals Manager Ned Yost (plus-5). That’s what we call passing the test, even though Yost may have gotten more out of his team. The postseason results don’t factor in here at all, though, and Ausmus was good while also doing what he had to do to hold off the challenge from an upstart team.

2014 NL MOTY: Matt Williams, Washington (original); Mike Matheny, St. Louis (revised)

Despite posting a minus-1 PPP mark, Washington Nationals Manager Matt Williams won the MOTY vote. We won’t be giving him our hardware, which means—for the first time since 1993—we are re-assigning every single on of these awards in our second analyses miniseries. Cardinals Manager Mike Matheny (plus-7) deserved this nod, as he easily posted the best mark in the league and won his division by 2 games.