The Friday Funday experience is back with a look at former MLB slugger José Abreu, who last played for the Houston Astros in 2024. To explain the headline here, we must state that he signed a three-year, $58.5M deal with the Trashstros after the 2022 season before playing only 176 games combined in 2023-2024 to the tune of just a .625 OPS—then not playing at all in the 2025 season. But hurray for guaranteed contracts!

Technically, he hasn’t retired, and the Houston front office outright waived him in 2024, but the team was still on the hook for his contract, even if another team claimed him—which, of course, no franchise did. Abreu’s performance dropped off a cliff from his age-35 season with the Chicago White Sox in 2022: an .824 OPS, a 134 OPS+ mark, and a .304 batting average. So, did he just finally run out of gas at that point? Hmm.

Let’s rewind to the start of his MLB career first.

He made his debut at age 27 in 2014 with the White Sox and immediately won the AL ROTY vote. We didn’t confirm that as we felt his professional experience elsewhere didn’t fit the “spirit” of the ROTY award, a choice we’ve made many times, but Abreu definitely could hit: 5.8 WAR on an MLB-best .581 SLG and 173 OPS+ effort. Chicago had a star on their hands, and everybody knew it. He was fun to watch hit, for sure.

His defense was mediocre at best (minus-2.0 dWAR as a rookie), so Abreu wasn’t in the lineup for his glove. It was all about his bat, and in nine seasons with the ChiSox, he compiled 31.3 WAR overall, which included minus-9.0 dWAR, sadly. But with 29 home runs and 108 RBI for every 162 games played, no one on the South Side really cared that much about his defense, and he often served as the designated hitter as well.

Abreu was a three-time All Star (2014, 2018-2019) and also won the 2020 AL MVP vote—a result we confirmed in our own analysis. He posted 60 RBI in only 60 games that year, which was the Covid-abbreviated season. He made over $37M with the White Sox in 2021-2022 combined while putting up 7.3 WAR in those two seasons, and when Chicago decided not to extend his contract or re-sign him? Astros!

Doh.

Now, we have no sympathy whatsoever for the Houston organization, which cheated its way to two World Series titles and four American League pennants from 2017–2022. It gets what it deserves. Still, we suspect Abreu’s age may not be what it is said to be, as that has been a situation common among players from Cuba and other countries in Central America over recent decades. That could explain how his output just tanked.

We have no reason to suspect him of PED use, either, as his performance was pretty consistent from 2014-2022. Some guys just reach a certain age, and their skills disappear, physically. We’ve seen it before, and we will see it again. We don’t blame Abreu for getting all that money from Houston for so little production; it’s nice work if you can get it, as we always say. Mama, definitely let your kids grow up to be baseball players!