Any regular reader here knows we despise cheaters, in all facets of life. So, today on Wednesday Wizengamot, we want to lay out the reasons why Bruce Pearl, currently the head coach of the Auburn Tigers, should not be allowed to coach ever again in the collegiate ranks—even as his team has a No. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament while still being on probation for one of his many transgressions in the sport.

[Seriously, why is this man even allowed to coach? Why is this team even allowed into the postseason?! And why doesn’t any respectable sports-mediot outlet call him out for what he is??]

Exhibit A: Illegal Recruiting at Tennessee, Lying to Investigators About It

Sounds a lot like Jim Harbaugh, huh? Pearl is confirmed cheater and liar as a result of the 2008 illegal action regarding recruit Aaron Craft and the subsequent investigation where he lied about everything, basically. The University of Tennessee first suspended him for his actions and then later fired him when additional investigations revealed more rules transgressions and violations. The NCAA also sanctioned him.

He was not allowed to coach, basically, for three years, but some Knoxville company threw him a lifeline of employment, anyway, showing just how depraved Pearl and the former Confederate States are, still. Why would any sane corporation hire a confirmed cheat and liar as the Vice President of Marketing? This basically told Pearl that it was okay to cheat, lie, and move on with life as if nothing had happened at all.

Exhibit B: Auburn Transgressions, Suspension, and Probation

The Auburn Tigers hired him while he still had three months on his NCAA show-cause ban, which again demonstrates how depraved the SEC and the Confederate States really are. Why would a university hire of a confirmed cheater and liar? You know the answer. Well, Pearl has gotten in trouble at Auburn, too, as evidenced by the probation the team is still on due to his actions—and the Tigers still gave him a fucking raise.

That’s right: after getting caught and busted by the NCAA for the second time in less than a decade, Auburn rewarded him for it. Clearly, it has paid off for the Tigers, though, as the program has reached new heights under Pearl’s immoral and unethical leadership, which includes this season’s No. 1 ranking and current spot in March Madness and its Sweet 16. Once again, Pearl has learned that it’s okay to cheat, because … yeah.

Exhibit C: The 1988-1989 Illinois-Iowa Beef

Everyone in the industry hates Pearl. Why? Because he tried to rat out opponents on the recruiting trail in the late 1980s when he was an assistant at Iowa. He illegally taped a phone conversation with a lost recruit and tried to use it as proof that Illinois was cheating. The NCAA cleared Illinois of the charges, and Pearl became a pariah among his fellow coaches for a long time afterward. Evidently, he taught himself a rule.

Cheaters prosper. It took him many years to get back to Division I basketball after being “blacklisted” due to this incident, and you have to wonder what thoughts festered in his mind for all those years. He probably was very bitter and disgruntled, and he probably resolved to never “fail” again at doing dirty things that would help him “win” at any cost. The psychology of this event is easy to see as an impactful moment.

Conclusion: Once a Cheater and a Liar, Always a Cheater and a Liar

There’s a pattern of behavior here, especially if you choose to believe Pearl was trying to frame the Illinois staff for something they didn’t do. He either tried to falsely accuse others of cheating to get revenge, or he attempted to tell on others for cheating (which, honestly, we don’t have a problem with, but it’s an unspoken rule in the profession to never tell on your colleagues—a honor code, if you will, among thieves). Which is it?

We don’t know. But we do know the Illinois-Iowa incident changed Pearl forever, and what we have seen in the last two decades is a man who is fine with cheating to get ahead. The NCAA itself is guilty in this situation, as is society as a whole, of course. We will remind our readers of the ancient pearl of wisdom in Christianity: “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” Indeed.

We are not spiritual people at all, but many people in the South claim to be Christians. Is Pearl one of them?