Sharks current record: 10-31-4 (.267)
Sharks projected record: 20-58-4 (.268)
NHL record for worst season in 82-game history: 14-57-11 (.238)

Lucky 13 this week for the Sharks Sterility Stare? No; of course it was pretty unlucky for the San Jose Sharks as they lost 3 straight road games this week—including 2 games they could have won. We will explore these terrible displays of hockey down below, but this is what happens when the team is bad: it snatches defeat from the jaws of victory … until if and when the players on the roster grow up and learn how to finish.

We saw it with the Oakland Athletics last summer, for sure, and the team did get better, eventually. Now, with 45 games under the collective belt in this season’s schedule, the Sharks have to start showing some sign of growth and learning—or else major changes will once again be needed over the offseason. Right now, the San Jose organization will end up with no worse than the No. 3 overall draft pick, but … yeah.

Last year there was a generational talent atop the draft board, in theory, and this year there does not seem to be the same opportunity. Sometimes, you’d rather be lucky than good when it comes to drafting. The way things are going for the Sharks, it makes sense that not only will they “lose” the draft lottery and end up with the worst pick possible (No. 3), but there just isn’t a franchise-changing player on the board, either.

But we digress: back to last week’s choke jobs. First, against Ottawa last Saturday night, San Jose fell behind 2-0 in the first 10 minutes of the game before battling back to tie the score with just over 3 minutes left in the third period. The Sharks had momentum heading into a possible overtime situation, but then this happened: the home team scored on a rebound with just 5 seconds left in the game to steal the victory.

For the game, San Jose skaters managed just 18 shots on goal yet still were in a position to get the matchup to overtime and win—alas, Sharks goaltender Mackenzie Blackwood had to face a whopping 41 shots on goal, and making 36 saves just wasn’t enough this time for his team to win. The defensive breakdowns continue to make it painful to watch this San Jose team skate: the team just doesn’t have near enough talent.

Naturally, the next time out (Monday in Buffalo), the Sharks were a little lifeless in a seemingly winnable matchup against the mediocre Sabres. The game was scoreless halfway through the second period before the home team broke through for 2 goals and then added a third tally in the third period to clinch a 3-0 win. This time San Jose was only outshot 35-28, but that didn’t change the outcome for the effort put forth.

This brings us to Tuesday night in Chicago against the second-worst team in the Western Conference, playing without its No. 1 draft pick from last summer, the generational talent the Sharks won’t get this summer. The Blackhawks won the game in the overtime shootout after San Jose had 7 chances to win the game—but failed every fucking time. For any Sharks fan watching, it was like getting mercilessly tortured.

This is how it went down: San Jose was second in the shootout order, and Sharks right wing Kevin Labanc scored in the second round to give Blackwood a chance to win the game in the third round. Alas, he gave up a goal before San Jose center Tomáš Hertl failed to convert his opportunity at the close of the third round. So, that was two straight chances to win missed right there. But the shootout was just getting started.

In the fourth round, forward Mike Hoffman failed to convert and clinch a victory for San Jose. In the fifth round, C Luke Kunin failed to score and get the Sharks a win. In the sixth round, it was left wing William Eklund who failed to net the puck while costing San Jose a chance to triumph. In the seventh round, defenseman Henry Thrun embarrassed himself and blew another opportunity for victory. See the pattern?

This is a team that can’t score much in the first place, and after 6 chances to win the game, we had to wonder how much more Blackwood had in his tank, making all the stops he was making on the opening shots of each round. He was incredible, in truth, and it was just sad to watch skater after skater just blow it. Then in the eighth round, F Alexander Barabanov joined the line of Sharks failures to win the night: unlucky No. 7.

Finally, in the ninth round of the shootout, Blackwood blinked and gave up a score, meaning it was down to RW Filip Zadina to extend the game for San Jose, if he could. And of course, he could not, and the Sharks lost a game they had 7 chances to win. This really defies belief for many reasons, logical and mathematical. But this is what the San Jose franchise has been reduced to in 2024 after so many years of success: a joke.

What’s next for the Sharks? Once again, they’ll play 3 games in 4 days, starting tonight at home against Anaheim (15-28-1), followed by Monday in Los Angeles (21-13-8) and Tuesday back home again versus the New York Rangers (28-14-2). Maybe the days off since the Chicago debacle can help San Jose recover, but hope is pointless now, really. Beating the Ducks at home is the best bet in this trio of games, really.

We’re going to wrap this up with an assessment of Blackwood: it is not his fault this team is so bad on defense. His numbers are mediocre, due to the number of shots faced routinely every time, and that is going to cause fatigue eventually. But the Sharks need a new defensive scheme, an infusion/upgrade of defensive talent, and anyone who can fucking score in a shootout. What happened in Chicago should never happen.

Ever.